as [if] you [changed] ME!

do you ever have those days when you feel like hiding from the world, because you feel that everyone is watching you & judging you? This last summer i was always feeling like people were watching over me & judging me. I hate that feeling. If theres one pet peeve i hate, its that. I can't stand when people stare at you & look at you as if your "below them" or not good enough. It makes me want to run & hide.
This last summer i would always wear sunglasses in the summer, not because it was sunny, because i felt i wasn't good enough & i hated when people would look at me. When i would wear sunglasses i felt safe & hiden, i felt that i could look at anyone, without them knowing.
This was when i had blond hair, i didnt like my hair color, & it really didnt look good on me. So i finally got my hair died to brown. Ever since i had brown hair i felt more confident & never had to hide, i dont think its just cause of my hair color, it also has to do with me maturing and growing up. I learned a lot about myself that summer & i really changed that summer. Before i would always care what other people thought about me, & i would change who i was, so that people would like me. But ever since i have been friends with Kaitlin & Kirsten i have changed, & i started to not worry what people think about me

I still wear sunglasses because they are kickkk (:

_.xo

So;...

There was a time in my life where i looked down on everything in my life, I felt really low, & it was because i was missing something in my life. That was Taylor, she changed my life & made me realise how important friendship is. I have always knew Taylor, but i was never really friends with her but my best friend Kaitlin was friends with her, so i knew about her. I always thought that Taylor wouldn't like me & honestly, i never really gave her the chance to prove me wrong. Ever since i meet Taylor i have been a better friend to all of my friends. She taught me that friendship is more important then boys, she told me that boys will come & go, but you will always have your friends with you. I knew from the day we meet that we would get along because our opinions are both a like. She always says what she feels & lets you know what she expects/needs to for herself. I really look up to the decisions Taylor makes, & i respect them because she thinks everything out before she makes a choose. I am glad Taylor & i are friends because we can have a great time together & she is always there to listen to my problems. She is the kind of friend who doesn't hide stuff from you, & you can really trust her with your secrets.
I love this girl to death.

_xo.

[b']r'o'k'e'n;

When i was five i got a wiener dog.
I named her Kirby!
I got her from my aunty, my aunty had two wiener dogs and she breaded them and she gave me the runt of the family. Kirby was sooo tiny but really cute. She was one of the best dogs i have had. We would go rollerblading down my road and she would try to pull me when she was on the leash even though she was super tiny. She was like a best friend, i would always pretend i could talk to her and we would dress up. She was so easy going and loved attention, she was MY DOG! She never barked at me or got mad at me. The best part about her was that she would sleep in my bed with me! I made her, her own special blanket for her and she would go under her blanket and cuddle right beside me. I was always scared that i would roll over her in my sleep, but somehow i manged not to.

One day we were playing in leaf piles and i was chasing Kirby. I went inside for a drink and i left Kirby outside. My mom was outside working on my new play ground and had to run to the store. So my mom jumped in the car, and went off to the store, but on her way, she ran over Kirby! :( When i came back outside i noticed she was gone. I was so devastated. I couldn't believe my only dog had died. There has never been another dog who is as affectionate as Kirby.

I miss her! :(
Lots of love Kirby
_xo.

k;

When i was a little girl, i always had a need to help out people who were sick, but in grade three i had a life threatening sickness that shocked everyone.

I was in my Grade three class room one afternoon, and i was fine. There was nothing wrong with me... yet! I was playing cards with Megan when i started to have a hard time breathing.

It was weird, i couldn't breath and my face started to get all blotchy and red, my lips were going over my nose. I went to ask the teacher if i could go to the washroom and she said "not right now, we are busy" So i thought, i will be okay, maybe its just because of the smell in the room. So i sat in class another ten minutes, still having a hard time breathing until i finally told my teacher i HAD to call my mom. She said "no" again without even looking at me, i couldn't talk by now because my throat was collapsing. The special needs helper was the one who FINALLY noticed i was past out on the floor. She called my mom and my grandpa came and picked me up from school. When i got home everyone thought i was over exaggerating. My mom made me have a nap and see if i felt better once i got up.

After my mom was done work, things hadn't gotten better. I had blotches all over my body and i had hives. So my mom FINALLY decided to take me to the hospital. Once i was there i had to wait for four hours. I was sitting there and i fainted for a long time, so the doctors came and took me in right away. The first night i was there, the doctors treated it like i had an allergic reaction. So they gave me 60 needles in both my arms. I was crying and crying, it hurt sooo much and the one nurse, she punctured my vein so there was blood everywhere, which made me faint AGAIN!! They told me i could go home, and i would be better in the morning. I went home and that night it was worse!!

So my mom and Aunty drove me back to the hospital again that night. This time we went to a different hospital with actual doctors who knew what they were doing. I ended up staying five nights in the hospital. The doctor told me i had an allergic reaction to a deadly virus and that it there is a one in a million chance to get this reaction. I guess that makes me pretty special.

The doctor told me that he has only seen once case like this in all his time being a doctor and has only heard of this happening three times around the world!!

If i didn't come back to the hospital that night, and slept at home, my lungs would have collapsed and i could have died! :(

I am sooo happy that my Aunty and mom took me back to the hospital and saved my life!! :)

Inspriation

Heey, its me again.

Today i am talking about my Aunty Colleen.
My aunty was very close to me, and we shared a lot of memories. This summer she past away with cancer. :( To me, she is an amazing person, and i lot up to her and admire her greatly. She was always very tough and fought through A LOT! She had cancer for 11 years. She has inspired me throughout my whole life, ever since i was little and she drove my bus to school i have always looked up to her. Her favorite thing in the whole world besides her friends and family were dragonflies. She lived for dragonflies. I will always remember sitting on her deck, watching the sunset in the spring with all the dragonflies amoung us. I will never forget how happy she was. You can tell she was happy just by looking at her big brown eyes. My aunty was always there for me, literally. She lives right behind my house so whenever something was wrong i could just walk over and she would always listen to what i had to say. After my aunty passed away, i had to go and clean out her house with my uncle. I remember looking at all the memories we had with dragonflies. Everything in her house is dragonflies! She was an amazing aunty and i will never forget her. She inspired me, and my whole family so much and i think after her passing was when we realised how amazing she was. She was one the closest people in my life, and now shes gone. I miss her very much ! :(

xox. Rest in peace babe

_Katy

Hello, my name is Katy.
I have been through a lot in my life, some more difficult then others, but through all the challenges that i have had, my friends were always there for me. When i was a little girl in kindergarten, i remember i was best friends with everyone. Some days i wish that was the same. In kindergarten it didn't matter what you wore, how your hair looked, your size or your weight. We all understood that everyone is different and we excepted that. Some days i wish that everyone had the same respect that we had in kindergarten. In kindergarten i made lots of friends, many that i wont forget, but the one i remember the best was Megan! She was always there for me, although she never really said much, she always listened to what i had to say. She was one of my favorite friends all through elementary. She was great, we spent every lunch together and all the recesses too. There was one problem, she was special needs. Megan had many difficulties trying to fit in, never mind her case of special needs. All the kids made fun of Megan, and i always stuck up for her, and she really apperciated it. The kids made fun of me to, by now i was in grade five and i thought that my classmates would have more respect for Megan then that. Even though i got made fun of all the time, it didnt stop me from being friends with Megan. One day i went to school and i was waiting my the swings for Megan, that was her favorite place to play and we meet there every morning, but today was different, Megan wasn't there! I was very worried, she never missed school without telling me. So i waited, three days went by and i still hadn't hear what had happened to Megan or where she went. Finally a week went by, and her special helper came up to me and told me that Megan had to go to a different school because of her difficulties. I was heart-broken! Megan was like my sister, we had fun together, we didnt sit and talk about everybody and worry about what the thought about us. We didn't care. I value the times i had with her, and everytime we were together, i felt like i was appart of something. I got home that day from school, and i was crying and crying. My mom didn't know what to do with me, so she called Megan's mom. My mom talked to her for five minutes, and i remember her saying, "oh my gosh! i'm soooo sorry." but as soon as she saw me listening she made it sound like a normal conversation. Now i was really worried. I spent every lunch hour by myself for a week, until i made new friends. I was so upset because I had never even thought about what I would do without Megan. I knew at the time i was so lucky to have Megan, but i thought that i would still visit her on weekends after her school. I thought that this was the best for her, to go to a school where they would focus on her disabilities and would make her better. I was just a little kid and i didn't realise what was going on. So i made new friends and continued on with my life, hoping i would see Megan again. A month after Megan had been at a different school, i decided to call her and see how she liked it and keep up with her. I wanted to tell her soooo much, like how much i missed her, how the school is not the same without her. EVERYTHING. When i picked up the phone to call her, my mom asked me what i was doing, and told me it wasn't a good idea to call her. I was wondering why she said this and i got really mad at her. My mom took me to my room and told me we had to talk. She told me that Megan hadn't gone to a new school. She said "Megan's sickness had gotten really bad, and Megan passed away." I couldn't believe it! I lost my best friend FOR GOOD! I cried for three weeks. I was just a little girl, this wasn't suppose to be happening to me. It took me a while to get over the fact i lost my best friend. To this day, i still miss Megan. She taught me so much, but they way she taught me it was the reason i will never forget her. She made me a better person, she taught me not to judge, because she never did. I miss her so much and she will always have a place in my heart for her. xox. Katy